[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATRE NEWS

[Skip Huston]

AVON THEATRE NEWS & VIEWS
Showtimes, Programs, Erudition and Miscellaneous Folderol 
WEEK OF FRIDAY, JUNE 8th  thru THURSDAY, JUNE 14th ONLY!!

OPENING FRIDAY:
George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin, Andy Garcia, Elliot Gould, Don Cheadle
and every other hot star in Hollywood in OCEAN'S 13 (PG13) 

CONTINUING:
Johnny Depp and a whole gaggle of Pirates in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3 (PG13)
SHREK THE THIRD (PG)         

COMING THIS SUMMER: AN UNPRECEDENTED LINE-UP!! A NEW HOT-ONE EVERY WEEK!!! 
JUNE 15th: FANTASTIC FOUR: Rise of the Silver Surfer (PG13)
JUNE 22nd: EVAN ALMIGHTY (PG)
JUNE 29th: DIE HARD 4--Live Free or Die Hard (PG13)
JULY 2nd: TRANSFORMERS (PG13)
JULY 11th: HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (PG13)
...and that ain't all, folks!!
(The incredible line-up is brought to you by our Film-Buyer Extraordinaire Howard Taormino; the "gladiator" of bookers!)
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EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES AT THE AVON!!
We have IMMEDIATE openings for:
*Lobby Staff
*Lobby Supervisors
Apply IN-PERSON to Susan or Skip!
NO PHONE CALLS OR EMAILS!
Must have dependable transportation and be able to 
work NIGHTS and WEEKENDS!! No Exceptions!
We prefer over 18 years of age, but will consider
a young as 16.
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OCEAN'S 13 (PG13) Ok, so this is really "Ocean's 11-Part 3", right? But don't you think OCEAN'S 13 has a better ring in this Summer of "threequels"?? Clooney said they should've called this "The One We Shoulda' Made The Last Time", and, right he is! The original remake of the seminal OCEAN'S 11 with Sinatra, Martin, Davis and the rest of the Rat-Pack, was a breath of fresh air! Then, they messed with the concept with OCEAN'S 12, and got lost in the wilderness...
NOW, the gang is back in VEGAS, and making the life of casino boss-baddy Al Pacino miserable!
(...and...Ellen Barkin looks purty darn hot for a 52 year old gal!)

OCEAN'S 13 (PG13)
(Showtimes in brackets mean $4.50 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (5:00) - 8:00
SAT & SUN: (2:00) - (5:00) - 8:00
MON, TUES, WED & THURS: 7:15

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (PG13) Boy, this is a big'un!! A fitting and proper end of the trilogy of some of the most successful movies in Hollywood history!! BUT, is it really "the end"??? Those of you who saw this at THE AVON, saw the "extra scene" at the end of the credits, you know, the one the "other guys" didn't bother to warn you about?? Anyway, this "extra scene", while not that lengthy, certainly changes the ending somewhat, and sets up the whole shebang for a 4th episode!!! Aren't you glad you saw it at THE AVON where we warn you about such stuff?? (Now don't email me and tell me you weren't warned when you saw it at THE AVON, because I can't be at EVERY show, y'know, and, besides, my staff is SUPPOSED to warn you too! Get me the offenders names and I will make them walk the plank!).
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: At World's End (PG13)

(Showtimes in brackets mean $4.50 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (3:45) - 7:15
SAT & SUN: (12:15) - (3:45) - 7:15
MON, TUES & WED: 6:40
THURS: 7:00

SHREK THE THIRD (PG) Beloved by all except a few old grumps, the little green ogre is about to take his leave! Bring all the kids you can find (of all ages) and come see this happy little romp while you still can at THE AVON!!  IT ENDS THIS WEEK!!
SHREK THE THIRD (PG)
(Showtimes in brackets mean $4.50 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (4:30) - 7:00
SAT & SUN: (12:00) - (2:15) - (4:30) - 7:00
MON, TUES & WED: 6:45
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TID-BITS FOR YOU!!    
*We pride ourselves in our commitment to your satisfaction. We hear the horror stories of terrible service at the "other guys", and we say a tiny prayer that is not OUR way!
If you ever are treated by our staff in a manner that is not conducive to the way you know I have pledged to  serve you these past 8 1/2 years, please do not hesitate to mention it to me!

*Now that we have Hot-Dogs and Nachos, along with our incredible popcorns, is there anything else you would like to see offered? Let me know in an email!

*Did you know you can buy Avon popcorn without seeing a movie? All you have to do is come in the lobbies and tell us "I WANT POPCORN, BUT I DON'T WANNA' SEE THE MOVIE!!" (or something like that), and we will rush to serve you! (If we don't, see above!)
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It's gonna' be a groovy Summer at the movies, folks!
Gasoline prices are outrageous, and why go anywhere anyway?
(Especially you West Enders and South Shores people, why would you drive all the way to Forsyth or Mt. Zion when THE AVON will have most of the BIGGEST movies this Summer too??)
Then, there's the Forsyth and Mt. Zion people who DO drive all the way to THE AVON, and to them I say:
It's really not that much gas! :-)
I am sounding more and more like a "politician" every day, huh?
But at least I TRY to make everyone happy, unlike some of our current elected State office-holders!
(But, don't get me started!)

Come See Me This Weekend!!
I'll Be Looking for you, and you and....YOU!!

Skip Huston

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