[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATRE NEWS---MARCH 26th, 2010

[Skip Huston]

AVON THEATRE NEWS & VIEWS 
Showtimes, Programs, Erudition and Miscellaneous Folderol 
"All of Life's Answers are in the Movies!"  -Dr. Skippy P. Huston
WEEK OF FRIDAY, MARCH 26th thru THURSDAY, APRIL 1st ONLY!!  
Check out our way cool website at: www.TheAvon.com

OPENING FRIDAY: 
ALICE IN WONDERLAND (PG)  NOT IN 3D!! Johnny Depp and an All-Star cast in the blockbuster hit! NOT IN 3D!!
BROOKLYN'S FINEST (R) Richard Gere, Don Cheadle & Ethan Hawke in a tough police story!

CONTINUING:
THE BOUNTY HUNTER (PG13) Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler in the smash hit comedy!

SNEAK PREMIERE THURSDAY, APRIL 1st @ 8:00 PM!!
CLASH OF THE TITANS 3D (PG13) On our NEW 3D System!!!

COMING SOON:
APRIL 9th: LETTERS TO GOD (PG) A Faith-based family film that you will love!
APRIL 9th: DATE NIGHT (PG13) Steve Carell & Tina Fey are on the town, and in big trouble too!
APRIL 17th:THE GOLD RUSH (1925) The Millikin Symphony Orchestra accompanies this Charlie Chaplin silent masterpiece! ONE NIGHT ONLY!!
...and MORE!!!
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3D COMES TO THE AVON TWINS ON APRIL 2nd!!!
(SNEAK PREMIERE ON APRIL 1st!)
SEE THE ACTION SPECTACULAR "CLASH OF THE TITANS" ON THE AVON'S
NEW 3D SYSTEM!!!
INSTALLATION HAS BEEN COMPLETED!!
WE ARE READY, TEDDY!!
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HELP WANTED!!
Yes, an exciting career in show-business can be YOURS!!
WE ARE HIRING PART-TIME SUMMER HELP!!
Prefer students, but we will consider all bonafide humans.
>MUST HAVE OWN TRANSPORTATION
>MUST BE ABLE TO WORK NIGHTS, WEEKENDS & HOLIDAYS
>MUST BE ABLE TO CARRY 50 POUND BAGS OF RAW POPCORN
>MUST BE ABLE TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND
APPLY IN-PERSON TO GENERAL MANAGER ASHLEY PETTY
NO PHONE CALLS, PLEASE (That's why I said "apply in-person!")
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THE BOUNTY HUNTER (PG13)
HA! So many dudes were surprised last weekend when their ladies dragged them to see what they thought was a chick flick! 
It was fun to watch their expressions of agony at the boxoffice!
You'd think they'd been strapped to a chair and made to watch SEX IN THE CITY for 48 hours straight or something!

Then, what happened?
They found out this really wasn't that much of a chick flick after all!
It is funny, sexy, exciting, PG13 non-offensive and goes down really easy.
More like BEVERLY HILLS COP than WUTHERING HEIGHTS!

Of course the critics don't like it, but so what?
Just like when you were a kid, most of the things that were the most fun were things your parents hated. Am I right?
Here is ultra-babe JENNIFER ANISTON and hunky GERARD BUTLER as battling ex-spouses who find themselves in a lot of hot water!
THE BOUNTY HUNTER (PG13) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (5:00) - 8:00 
SAT: (2:00) - (5:00) - 8:00
SUN: (2:00) - (5:00)
MON thru THURS:  7:15
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ALICE IN WONDERLAND (PG)
Let's say this part first: This is NOT in 3D!
We are not able to start our 3D presentations until we open CLASH OF THE TITANS, but we thought some of you might want to see this huge box-office hit in the normal format. (Plus, it'll be cheaper for you that way too!).
So here is JOHNNY DEPP and a whole bunch of other stars in this fanciful adaptation of the classic tale.
Nothing more needs to be said. You all know this is a BIG one! 

ALICE IN WONDERLAND (PG) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (4:15) - 7:15 
SAT: (1:15) - (4:15) - 7:15 
SUN: (1:15) - (4:15)
MON, TUES & WED: 6:40
 THURS:  7:00
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BROOKLYN'S FINEST (R)
Here's a little personal confession:
Sometimes I really like watching a tough, gritty, hard-as-nails police drama.
I always have!
I go all the way back to THE FRENCH CONNECTION or SERPICO or PRINCE OF THE CITY, or even further to ACROSS 110th STREET. (Now, there's a good one!)
This movie, has a director, Antoine Fuqua, who made the award-winning TRAINING DAY, and then turned around to surprise me with KING ARTHUR just a few years back.
And what a cast! RICHARD GERE, DON CHEADLE, ETHAN HAWKE, WESLEY SNIPES, VINCENT D'ONORFRIO and ELLEN BARKIN (where's she been???).
This is in-your-face street thuggery, and the Blue Knights doing their best to hold the line.
This ain't no chick flick. This is some serious meanies.
BROOKLYN'S FINEST (R) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: 
SAT & SUN: 
MON, TUES & WED:  
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CLASH OF THE TITANS  3D (PG13)
OUR 3D SCREEN'S GRAND OPENING!!
Groovy.
Or maybe a better response would be a simpler, non-anachronistic: "WOW!!"
With 3D movies these days, its become a matter of survival.
We held out for a long time thinking it really wasn't going to get "that" big...
Yup! 
Color us clueless. 
-Put a "Stupid" statue of me up in Central Park...
Boy, it was great fun watching all those ticket-buyers beat a path to our competition to see 3D!
I am sure the "other guys" just loved the fact we were not 3D capable!!
Obviously, those that govern the movie biz these days want 3D whenever possible...
SO, NOW WE GOT 3D AT THE AVON!!! 
COME HELP US INAUGURATE THIS HISTORIC MOMENT!!
Greek mythology, winged horses, men battling monsters---this is going to be coooool!
 
CLASH OF THE TITANS  3D (PG13) 

THURS, APRIL 1st "SNEAK PREMIERE" @ 8:00 PM!! 
(Showtimes for April 2nd thru April 8th in next week's annoying newsletter)

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RAMBLIN' RUMBLINS FROM THE HEAD HONCHO

My next film classes start next Thursday, April 1st!!
The minimum enrollment has now been met, and class is ready to roll!

Some of you are reluctant to try the Silent Movie class, but you need to just trust me that I will show you a wonderful new world of movies.
Last year, when we started doing the Silent Movie classes again (this new one is part SIX) there were MANY converts who now feel the silent movie classes are some of the best classes I've ever done!

Come spend 6 weeks of early Spring with me on Thursday nights!
It's a great way to speed into full-blown Summer!!
Here's the class info again!!

Have You Signed Up for My Next Film Class yet??
Ya' better hurry! It starts THIS Thursday, April 1st!!!
SILENT MOVIE CLASSICS---PART 6!!

The continuation of our popular film and discussion series on the classics of the silent screen!

A 6 WEEK COURSE STARTING THURSDAY, APRIL 1st  and ending THURSDAY, MAY 6th!!

This 6 week class and discussion film series will meet every Thursday @ 6:30 PM starting April 1st at The Avon Theatre. 
Cost is $60, in cash or check  (no credit cards, please), checks payable to "Ripper Entertainment".
NOTE: This class is NOT payable through Richland!


Unlike all of our previous film classes, we WILL reveal SOME (but not ALL) of the movies to be screened beforehand.



WINGS (1927) The FIRST movie to win the "Best Picture" Oscar! Clara Bow and Buddy Rogers.
THE  SON OF THE SHEIK (1926) Rudolph Valentino in his best, and last film!

THE WIND (1928) Lillian Gish in the unforgettable ultra-classic!

THE DOCKS OF NEW YORK (1928) Extremely rare Josef von Sternberg directed masterpiece!

.and MORE to be decided!! (Maybe a Douglas Fairbanks? Maybe a D.W. Griffith Epic? Maybe Greta Garbo?)

Seeing one of the silent classics of the Golden Age of Cinema in the 1916  vintage Avon Theatre, is a "transporting" and even rather eerie & remarkable journey through the archaeology of the cinema! Many of these films were considered LOST until just recently!! This is an unforgettable experience for the true film buff!!

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CLIP THIS OUT AND DROP OFF AT OUR LOBBY WITH CASH OR CHECK PAYMENT

Come  join us for 6 weeks of unforgettable movie experiences, and a lively discussion with fellow film-buffs!  Sign up TODAY at the AVON THEATRE!

(Give this form with your payment to the Avon Theatre's staff)
SILENT MOVIE CLASSICS-PART 6 SIGN-UP FORM

$60, Cash or Check (no credit cards for this class, please)


NAME:__________________________________________

 

PHONE:_________________________________________

 

EMAIL (if any):____________________________________________              (Email to be used only for class purposes)

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Come See Me Soon, Folks!
I'm Watching for YOU!!

-Skip Huston
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