[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATRE NEWS

Skip Huston Skip at TheAvon.com
Wed Sep 5 12:48:51 EDT 2007

Showtimes, Programs, Erudition and Miscellaneous Folderol 

DEATH AT A FUNERAL (R) Outrageous British Comedy!

HALLOWEEN (R) Rob Zombie's New Version Will Scare You Silly!        

"Classic Movie Comedy"
Thursday, Sept. 13th @ 6:30 PM
Sign-Up NOW, or the Night Classes Start!    

THE BRAVE ONE (R) - Jody Foster Kicks Butt Big-Time!
Fall Film Class Information!! 

AVON THEATRE for Richland Community College

Classic Movie Comedy - WKS 8648

Sect. 01:  Thurs., Sept. 13 - Nov. 1    Cost:  $80

Place:  Avon Theatre, Downtown Decatur

Instructor:  Skip Huston            Time:  6:30 - 9:00 p.m.

Are you ready to laugh??

We don't mean just a few polite "ha-ha's", we mean really, REALLY laugh??

Well, Avon Theater owner and film historian, Skip Huston, has done it again this time with a hand-picked collection of classic movie comedies that will not only have you bustin' a gut, but also find out WHY some things are so darn funny! 

As has always been the policy of this unprecedented series of film screenings and discussions, the movies to be shown are never announced beforehand...

However, you can be assured there will be representations of some of the greatest hilarious moments in movie history!

 Join Skip Huston for 8 weeks with the likes of W.C. Fields, Abbott and Costello, the Marx Bros., Laurel and Hardy, Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, and even some films from a bit later, as the Richland-at-the-Avon film classes discover and analyze what makes you laugh out loud!
THE 3:10 TO YUMA (R) I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been a'hankerin' for a good Western lately! All these Superheroes and "Three-quels" have got me a bit dizzy! Sooooooo, howsabout a RE-MAKE of a Western Classic that originally starred Glenn Ford and Van Heflin?? AND...let's put in two of the hottest male stars on the planet with 2-time Oscar Winner (and he ain't done yet, folks) RUSSELL CROWE and the new "Batman" himself, CHRISTIAN BALE!! The Western genre is part of our cinema legacy, folks. It is, indeed, among the oldest film forms there are. Back in 1903, it was Broncho Billy Anderson who shot his six-gun right at the screen and forever cemented the Western in its place in cinema history. It is high time for a new resurgence with a mighty Western!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT COULD MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN!! Saddle up, podners!!
THE 3:10 TO YUMA (R)
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.50 "Bargain Matinees") 
FRI: (4:00) - 7:00 
SAT & SUN: (1:00) - (4:00) - 7:00
MON, TUES & WED: 7:15
THURS: 7:00 

DEATH AT A FUNERAL (R) There is a certain type of comedy that the British do so well. It is a comedy of manners and embarrassments, and outrageous behavior. There are no stars in this that most of you would recognize, but the laughs come fast and furious, and really aren't concerned if you are offended or not. So, check your thin skin at the door and come for a chuckle and a guffaw and a belly-buster! Many have compared this to Monty Python or the best of that whacky Peter Sellers. Take a look at what noted film critic Leonard Maltin had to say about it:
DEATH AT A FUNERAL - Some comedies depend on the element of surprise. Classic farce depends on the element of expectation: you get exactly what you think you're going to get, only more so. A young screenwriter named Dean Craig understands that credo and has fashioned a very funny, quintessentially British farce, and Frank Oz has gotten every bit of value in translating it to the screen. Moreover, as Oz related in a recent interview, it's essential that the actors don't play it "funny." They have to be utterly sincere or the proceedings will become campy and tiresome. Matthew McFadyen, Alan Tudyk, Peter Dinklage and the other performers here hit just the right note as the chaos of a dysfunctional-family funeral grows and grows and grows. Death at a Funeral is highly enjoyable entertainment of a kind you might have thought extinct in the world of gross-out comedy. Thank goodness some traditions have survived. --Leonard Maltin
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.50 "Bargain Matinees") 
FRI: (5:15) - 8:15
SAT & SUN: (2:15) - (5:15) - 8:15
MON,TUES & WED: 6:35 

HALLOWEEN (R) Rob Zombie wasn't kidding when he decided to re-make the 1977 horror classic and do it up even scarier! Don't come expecting anything "subtle" or "implied", because this lets it all hang out and then some! Total and over-the-top brain-thrashing horror! You have been warned.
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.50 "Bargain Matinees") 
FRI: (5:00) - 8:00
SAT & SUN: (2:00) - (5:00) - 8:00
MON, TUES & WED: 6:30

THURS: 7:10

AVON FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: Why are there only cartoons in the Twins once-in-a-blue-moon? It seems the main Avon next-door always has them!

A: The answer to this is so technical and boring, I couldn't begin to simplify it or make it more exciting. Basically, it is because the Twins were built of a more modern standard, unlike the 91 year-old Avon, and utilize just one projector per screen. Cartoons are made in a "flat" ratio, and thus necessitate a lens change if the movie is in the "scope" ratio. In the old Avon, there are three projectors crammed into that little booth, and, sometimes a show you see will use all three of them! There have been times the cartoon was on one, the previews on another, and the feature on still another! We can't do that in the Twins.

Q: What is the deal with the parking downtown?

A: It's really very simple. The garage across the street is always free on weekends and after 5:00 on weekdays. Even when the garage is not free, it is very cheap (the first hour is free and the remaining time is only 10 cents an hour). The parking in front of the Avon is always free, and the parking meters in the other spaces are NOT enforced on weekends or after 4:30 on weekdays. Maybe someday I will get my wish and rid downtown of all the parking meters!!!

Q: Why is your popcorn so much better than the Styrofoam crud that other theaters serve?

A: We use only the most expensive ingredients. Our popping oil is pricey ADM Sunflower oil and the corn we use is a locally grown ultra-superior hybrid.

Add in the clarified butter, and you have incredible popcorn, but nothing that is as profitable as the "McTheaters" sell. Every time I do a cost analysis on our popcorn, I see why the "McTheaters" don't do it like we do! I like to say it is our commitment to quality. We have had business advisors who have said we should start doing it the "McTheater" way to make more money, but you know how that went over with me!

Q: How come you don't always have your Caramel corn to sell by itself? I know it is always available in the 3-way "Avon Style", but I love just your straight caramel, and think it is the best I have ever had!

A: This is being worked on. We have been short-handed all Summer long, in spite of our frequent ads for needed workers. Maybe we are too picky in whom we hire, or maybe no one wants to work in the Summer; whatever. Now that Fall is here and my daughter, Melissa, has moved back to town with her husband and almost-one-year-old daughter, she will start to cook caramel and our other flavors one or two days a week. You should see the problem start to resolve within the next few weeks.

Q: What happened to all the Art & Indy Films? You guys used to be known for them!!

A: What films in specific are you referring to? Summer is a time for "popcorn pictures" and blockbusters that make us the money so we can afford to play more of the art & indy films that don't do that much business. We played WAITRESS for 4 weeks, and still there were many of you art & indy film fans who never made it down to see it! We played the highly-acclaimed Irish musical titled ONCE, and the turn-out was poor at best. If you want to see more of these type of films, you need to support them! This week, we are playing the hilarious British comedy DEATH AT A FUNERAL, and I am betting there won't be much business for it. So, what is the answer? You want art & indy films, yet you don't come when we do play them?? And don't even get me started on the Foreign films! We have played some of the finest foreign films ever made in the past several years, and yet they are NEVER successful for us! I put a moratorium on foreign films about 6 months ago when THE LIVES OF OTHERS, the Oscar-winner for the Best Foreign Film, did such lousy business.

I don't know why people have such a problem with subtitles, but they are missing some of the best movies!! Here's a good tip: When you see we have an art & indy film, get down to see it quickly! And buy popcorn or a snack too! Remember, we are not a "non-profit organization" existing solely on grants and donations; we have to EARN our money to stay in business! If you do not make an effort to attend the art & indy films when we have them, then do not complain when we play crowd-pleasers that make a ton of money like HALLOWEEN! 'nuff said?

Q: How do I tell what movie is playing in which theater?

A: This has been a perplexing problem ever since we opened the Twins almost 3 years ago! We feel it is very simple to tell which movie is playing where, but maybe we have made it TOO simple! Here's the straight scoop: If it is on the BIG Avon main marquee, it is in there. If it is not, then it is playing in the Twins. Additionally, there is a smaller marquee, that I was over-charged $17,000 for, that is for Twins films ONLY. It is mounted on the building directly South of the Avon main marquee. Moreover, the FRONT of the Avon main marquee also lists what is in the Twins, and, there is usually a sign on the front door of the Avon main saying what is where. We could not do any more than if we had some idiot standing in front greeting you and guiding you to the correct theater!! (Wait a minute...I think we do!)

SEND YOUR FAQ's TO: Info at TheAvon.com and we will answer them as best we can!


>Friday, Oct. 12th at MIDNIGHT!! 
>Saturday, Oct. 13th at MIDNIGHT!!

This is your last chance to see this with the Millikin "Shadow Cast" who has been accompanying it for the past 4 years! All of them are graduating this Spring!! Of course, there will be others in the future, but right now, this is the A-TEAM! Come in costume as BARE as you dare! An allowed prop list will be available in late-September. 

>Wednesday, Oct. 17th at 7:00 PM ONLY!!

The World-Famous ALLOY ORCHESTRA, from Boston, Returns to the Avon for a 4th Fabulous Performance!!

See BUSTER KEATON in the classic 1927 Silent Comedy "THE GENERAL" with LIVE ACCOMPANIMENT by the ALLOY ORCHESTRA!! 

>Wednesday, Oct. 31st (Halloween Night) at 7:00 PM ONLY!!
See this Sci-Fi Channel Production and join Troy for a discussion afterward!
The Perfect Way to Spend Halloween Night!!



Could there be 3 MORE screens being added to The Avon in the near future??
Only the Shadow knows for sure.
But, 6 screens total would allow us to cover most all the movies out there, wouldn't it?

Come See Me This Weekend, Folks!
I'll Be Looking for You, and You and....YOU!!!
-Skip Huston
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