[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATER NEWS---FEB. 17th, 2012

[Skip Huston]

WEEK OF FRIDAY,  FEB. 17th thru THURSDAY, FEB. 23rd  ONLY!! 
Check out our way cool website at: www.TheAvon.com
NOTE: PLEASE PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION TO THE ABOVE EFFECTIVE DATES FOR 
THIS NEWSLETTER!!  

Click this link: http://www.facebook.com/TheAvonTheatre

OPENING:
 THIS MEANS WAR (PG13) Reese Witherspoon juggling two very dangerous men who don't know about the other!

 ONE FOR THE MONEY (PG13) Our "By Popular Demand" limited engagement of the fun Katherine Heigl film from the book series!

CONTINUING:
 SAFE HOUSE (R) Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds in a gripping new thriller!

 RED TAILS (PG13) The last few showings of the heroic saga!

 
COMING SOON:
 FEB. 24th: WANDERLUST (R) Paul Rudd & Jennifer Aniston in the raunchy comedy about "alternative lifestyle" relationships!

  MARCH 2nd: Dr. Seuss' THE LORAX (PG) Need we say more? This will be a big family favorite!

 MARCH 23rd: THE HUNGER GAMES (PG13) From the huge series of popular books! This is VERY highly-anticipated!

...and MORE!!!
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NOTE EXTENDED HOURS ON MONDAY, PRESIDENT'S DAY!!
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THIS MEANS WAR (PG13)
The world's deadliest CIA operatives are inseparable partners and best friends until they fall for the same woman. Having once helped bring down entire enemy nations, they are now employing their incomparable skills and an endless array of high-tech gadgetry against their greatest nemesis ever - each other. 
THIS MEANS WAR  (PG13)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (4:00) - 7:00 
SAT, SUN & MON: (1:00) - (4:00) - 7:00
TUES & WED: 6:30
THURS: 7:00 
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SAFE HOUSE  (R)
Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds star in the action-thriller Safe House. Washington plays the most dangerous renegade from the CIA, who comes back onto the grid after a decade on the run. When the South African safe house he's remanded to is attacked by mercenaries, a rookie operative (Reynolds) escapes with him. Now, the unlikely allies must stay alive long enough to uncover who wants them dead. 
SAFE HOUSE  (R)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (5:15) - 8:15 
SAT, SUN & MON: (2:15) - (5:15) - 8:15
TUES, WED & THURS: 7:15 
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ONE FOR THE MONEY  (PG13)
A proud, born-and-bred Jersey girl, Stephanie Plum's got plenty of attitude, even if she's been out of work for the last six months and just lost her car to a debt collector. Desperate for some fast cash, Stephanie turns to her last resort: convincing her sleazy cousin to give her a job at his bail bonding company...as a recovery agent. True, she doesn't even own a pair of handcuffs and her weapon of choice is pepper spray, but that doesn't stop Stephanie from taking on Vinny's biggest bail-jumper: former vice cop and murder suspect Joe Morelli - yup, the same sexy, irresistible Joe Morelli who seduced and dumped her back in high school. 
ONE FOR THE MONEY  (PG13)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: 8:00 
SAT, SUN & MON: (5:00) - 8:00
TUES & WED: 7:00
NO THURS SHOWING 
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RED TAILS  (PG13)
1944. To help win the war, the Pentagon brass has no choice but to consider the untested African-American pilots of the experimental Tuskegee training program. Just as the young Tuskegee men are about to be shut down and shipped back home, they are given the ultimate chance to show their courage. These intrepid young airmen take to the skies to fight for their country - and the fate of the free world. 
RED TAILS  (PG13)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (5:00) 
SAT, SUN & MON: (2:00)
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RANTS, RAVES & RAMBLINGS FROM THE HEAD HONCHO
Since it seems every other nincompoop in the media has weighed in on the "Best Picture" nominees with their personal comments, far be it for ME to be left out of that lofty crew!
So, here are MY comments, which I am sure you will find every bit as annoying and incompetent as I have found most others I have read lately, but, at least they come from a "somewhat" informed source!

Best Picture Comments
"The Artist" A total delight, but not for everyone. Since these are NOT the "People's Choice" awards, but (ahem) THE OSCARS, we have to assume the award will go here if only for the audacity of the accomplishment. I pity the "mall people" who go in to see this without knowing what it is though! HaHaHa

"The Descendants" I liked this a lot. George Clooney really ACTS here, and doesn't play his usual winky-winky cooler-than-you character, but the film has its own rhythm, and is rather meandering. 

"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" We just finished playing this, and, guess what? I never got a chance to see it! I heard wildly differing opinions on it, and it was a happy surprise that it was included and not the totally unnecessary and unredeeming remake of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". That alone makes me smile! 

"Hugo" Since I've heard 3D is essential to proper enjoyment of this film, I am waiting until the end of February when the Blu-Ray 3D DVD comes out and I can watch it in 3D in my basement theater. There is NO WAY I would go to the local "other guys" to see this, THE AVON doesn't play 3D, and I never have a chance to drive out of town to a "good" theater! I'm looking forward to seeing it.

"Midnight in Paris" I'll say it right now: I've ALWAYS been a Woody Allen fan. Always. This was not exactly what I thought it would, or could, or should be; but I did like it very much.

"The Help" We made a whole bunch of money on this. 'nuff said?

"Moneyball" I really liked this. I didn't think I would, since I am not a sports fan (but I DO like sports MOVIES). Brad Pitt was excellent, and the story well-written. Too bad its from a studio I despise with a passion, though.

"The Tree of Life" I wouldn't watch this latest from the most overrated director since Stanley Kubrick (Terrence Malick) if my life depended on it. This guy makes the most boring dreck imaginable, and theaters who did play this soporific mess even had to post signs out in front warning it made no sense. Even some of the stars said the same thing! We were BEGGED by the studio to play this, and I stood my ground and said I would rather have hamster dances on the Avon stage than play it!

"War Horse" This is the best movie out of these nominees by far. Steven Spielberg, operating at the top of his craft, brought us an old-fashioned and bravura epic! This is the kind of movie you thought they couldn't make any more! I LOVED IT! 

SHOULD WIN: "WAR HORSE"

WILL WIN: "THE ARTIST"
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So, all that, and 50 cents will get you real butter on your Avon popcorn!
Come See Me This Weekend!
I'll be looking for you and you and...YOU!!
- -Skip Huston
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