[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATER NEWS---MAY 27th

Skip Huston Skip at TheAvon.com
Wed May 25 15:17:21 EDT 2011


SHOWTIMES LISTED HERE ARE NOT VALID UNTIL FRIDAY, MAY 27th!!

WEEK OF FRIDAY,  MAY 27th thru THURSDAY,  JUNE 2nd  ONLY!!  
NOTE: PLEASE PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION TO THE ABOVE EFFECTIVE DATES FOR 
THIS NEWSLETTER!!  
Check out our way cool website at: www.TheAvon.com

Click this link: http://www.facebook.com/TheAvonTheatre

OPENING:

  THE HANGOVER PART II (R) The rowdy sequel to the most successful R-rated comedy in history! This is going to be WILD!!

 KUNG FU PANDA 2 (PG) You know you're dying to see this one! You KNOW you are!


SPECIAL FREE EVENT FRIDAY @ 10:00 PM!!
  THE UNINVITED (1944) The classic ghost story presented by Troy Taylor in-person! Stars Ray Milland.

CONTINUING:
  PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN--PART 4 (PG13) YES!! More of that same popcorn fun with Johnny Depp at the helm!! 

COMING SOON:
 JUNE 10th: SUPER 8 (PG13)

  JUNE 24th: CARS 2 (PG)

 JULY 1st: TRANSFORMERS 3: DARK OF THE MOON (PG13)

 JULY 15th: HARRY POTTER (the last chapter) (PG13) This is IT! No more Harry Potter after this one!

...and the list goes on and on!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 


THE HANGOVER---PART 2 (R)

There's a rather amusing story behind the Avon and the first entry of this movie, "The Hangover"...
We were "advised" by industry hoo-hahs that the original "The Hangover" was too raunchy and dirty for Avon audiences!
We accepted that advice, and did not play it.
-Then we watched as it become the biggest R-rated comedy of all time (almost 300 million domestic).
Sooooooo, taking a real moral chance, and putting our delicate sensibilities in jeopardy, my wife and I watched it when it came out on DVD...
WE LAUGHED SO HARD WE WERE SCREAMING!!
In fact, we watched it TWICE in a row, and we NEVER do that!!

Of course, the haters and wannabes say "It's just more of the same", but, let me tell you buddy, that's a whole lot of "same" I'd like to see some "more" of!!
Hearthrob BRADLEY COOPER, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis (who should maybe change his last name to something easier to spell, along with keeping his lip zipped in various media interview statements) are all back, along with more surprising cameos!

BUT, let me warn you folks...this is WILD! It is definitely rated R for a good reason! 'nuff said?
EXTENDED HOLIDAY WEEKEND HOURS!!
THE HANGOVER---PART 2 (R)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI, SAT, SUN & MON: (2:00) - (5:00) - 8:00
TUES, WED & THURS: 7:15
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

KUNG FU PANDA 2 (PG)
And what would Memorial Day weekend be if it didn't have some huge animated family film?
In this case, its been 3 years since the last entry, and there's a whole lot of people who are dying to see this one!
JACK BLACK and the whole gang are on-board for a buncha fun!
EXTENDED HOLIDAY WEEKEND HOURS!!
KUNG FU PANDA 2 (PG)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI, SAT, SUN & MON: (1:00) - (4:00) - 7:00 
MON thru THURS: 6:40
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN---ON STRANGER TIDES (PG13)

Here we go! JOHNNY DEPP in his favorite role as Capt. Jack Sparrow, and a huge cast consisting of most of your old faves from the first 3 movies, and some new ones as well (including babe PENELOPE CRUZ). This is got the gang searching for the Fountain of Youth, and encountering mermaids, zombies, and all sorts of scallywags along the way.
This is one of the BIGGEST movies of the year, folks!
Grab a big bucket of our famous 'corn, slather it with our REEL BUTTAH, and head for cinema heaven!!
EXTENDED HOLIDAY WEEKEND HOURS!!
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN---ON STRANGER TIDES (PG13)
(Showtimes in brackets denote $5.75 "Bargain Matinees")
FRI, SAT, SUN & MON: (1:15) - (4:15) - 7:15 
MON thru THURS: 6:30
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

RANTS, RAVES & RAMBLINGS FROM THE HEAD HONCHO
Someone much wiser than I  (or is it "me"?)  once said words to the effect of a person not being aware of "history" is like a leaf not knowing it is part of a tree.
Well, I don't know how much a leaf actually "knows", but the message is clear: Everything and everyone is part of the flow of all who have come before and all who will come later.
Everything is connected.
All past is prelude.
(Can you tell how much I am missing teaching my film classes? They start again on Thursday, June 16th. Flyers and enrollment forms in our lobbies)
 
BUT, anyhoo, what am I leading up to with those above remarks?
Just this:
I've heard some of the grumblings from patrons and media about this huge movie Summer being packed full of sequels, remakes, and Superheroes...
And I would say to those peeps: What's new or even surprising about that?

Those of you who have a firm grip on cinema history know that sequels, remakes, and, yes, even Superheroes, are as old as the movies themselves!
There is nothing new under the sun, folks!

Even this latest greedy attempt to wrest more hard-earned dollars from your wallets with the 3D hogwash is nothing that hasn't been tried for decades before!
The fact is, 3D promotes eye-fatigue, and...guess what? Over 10% of all human beings can't even perceive 3D!!

So, stop throwing your money away on these 3D surcharges, and spend the money on popcorn with REEL BUTTAH at the Avon (because, in case you weren't aware, the "other guys" don't have real butter; they just have some toxic waste "buttery topping" that glows in the dark! HaHaHaHa).

There are a lot of better things to spend your dough on than wearing uncomfortable, headache-inducing glasses that add NOTHING to the cinema experience!

IN FACT: The press has been filled with reports lately that consumers are starting to REJECT 3D in favor of the conventional presentations!
All I can say to that is: Bravo!

Friends of mine at the studios have told me in confidence the 3D boom was going bust, and this summer's glut of 3D is just the product that was already in production when the statistics started to show the gold rush was panning out!

So, relax. Hollywood is not running out of ideas, they are merely doing the same thing that has served them well for over 100 years.

Its going to be a real great movie summer, and some of the most-hyped movies will end up being turkeys, and some of the ones that are under-estimated will be surprise hits (can you say "Super 8" ?).

The annual roller-coaster ride that is Summer at the movie theaters starts this weekend!
I'm ready!!!!!!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Want to read what Roger Ebert thinks of the whole 3D and digital cinema mess?
Click here:  http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/05/the_dying_of_the_light.html 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THE MANGLER!!

Our stalwart General "Mangler", Ashley Petty, just loves her new staff portrait!
I am putting it here so those of you who don't get to our website very often can see!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

TROY "AVON GODFATHER" TAYLOR TIME!!
You classic film buffs are in for a rare treat Memorial Day weekend when the "Avon Godfather" Troy Taylor personally presents the 1944 Ray Milland ghost story THE UNINVITED, Friday, May 27th at 10 PM for FREE!! This is NOT the stupid 2009 movie of the same name. No relation at all. This is a subtle and chilling tale that is told with soooo much class! It has long been unavailable on video, but now you can see it with Troy Taylor for FREE on May 27th @ 10PM!

+++++++++++++++++++++++
TRIVIA FOLDEROL
Tell me what movie this quote comes from:
"The Ox is slow, but the earth is patient"
Extra credit if you can tell me what that quote actually MEANS!
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm  Looking for you and you and  especially YOU This Weekend!!
-Skippy Huston
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