[Avon-theatre-news] AVON THEATRE NEWS---April 9th, 2010

[Skip Huston]

AVON THEATRE NEWS & VIEWS 
Showtimes, Programs, Erudition and Miscellaneous Folderol 
"All of Life's Answers are in the Movies!"  -Dr. Skippy P. Huston
WEEK OF FRIDAY, APRIL 9th thru THURSDAY, APRIL 15th ONLY!!  
Check out our way cool website at: www.TheAvon.com

OPENING FRIDAY:
DATE NIGHT (PG13) Steve Carell & Tina Fey are on the town, and in big trouble too!
 
CONTINUING:
CLASH OF THE TITANS 3D (PG13) COME SEE OUR NEW 3D SYSTEM!!
THE GHOST WRITER (PG13) Just trust me: SEE THIS MOVIE!! Pierce Brosnan stars in a Hitchcock-type thriller!

COMING SOON:
APRIL 17th:THE GOLD RUSH (1925) The Millikin Symphony Orchestra accompanies this Charlie Chaplin silent masterpiece! ONE NIGHT ONLY!!
...and MORE!!!
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HELP WANTED!!
Yes, an exciting career in show-business can be YOURS!!
WE ARE HIRING PART-TIME SUMMER HELP!!
Prefer students, but we will consider all bonafide humans.
>MUST HAVE OWN TRANSPORTATION
>MUST BE ABLE TO WORK NIGHTS, WEEKENDS & HOLIDAYS
>MUST BE ABLE TO CARRY 50 POUND BAGS OF RAW POPCORN
>MUST BE ABLE TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND
APPLY IN-PERSON TO GENERAL MANAGER ASHLEY PETTY
NO PHONE CALLS, PLEASE (That's why I said "apply in-person!")
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DATE NIGHT (PG13)

Any time you put two absolute nuts like STEVE CARELL and TINA FEY in a movie together, you know you are in for a wild time!
This has been called a grown-up version of 1987's "Adventures in Baby-Sitting", and for those of you who remember that one, you will know how much fun you are in for. Early reviews have it rated mostly positive, and for a movie like this, that is a good sign!
We've been showing the preview for about 6 months now, and here it is finally!!
DATE NIGHT (PG13) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (5:00) - 8:00
SAT: (2:00) - (5:00) - 8:00
SUN: (2:00) - (5:00)
MON thru THURS:  7:15
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CLASH OF THE TITANS 3D (PG13) 
HA HA! Boy did the critics try and torpedo this one!
Sorry, guys, it didn't work!
Not only is this the #1 movie in America, but it broke some records for this time of year as well!
And, as far as the talk that since this was post-produced in 3D, it isn't quite up to snuff in that department??
Well, they can't ALL be made by James Cameron! (Even though he would like that, obviously!)
Do you know what this is, folks???
It's FUN!!
And that is ALL it is!
But, so what?
Come see it and have FUN!!
PLUS, I want to show-off our new 3D system!!
CLASH OF THE TITANS 3D (PG13) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (4:15) - 7:15
SAT:  (1:15) - (4:15) - 7:15
SUN: (1:15) - (4:15)
MON, TUES & WED: 6:40  
THURS: 7:00 
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THE GHOST WRITER (PG13)
I am giving all of you ONE LAST CHANCE to get your fannies in gear and come see this great movie!
What is the matter?
Is it because you think it's some kind of horror movie because it has "ghost" in the title?
Is it because you have it confused with that earlier film "Ghost Rider"??
YOU ARE MISSING A VERY GOOD HITCHCOCKIAN SUSPENSE THRILLER!!!!!
Pierce Brosnan and Ewan McGregor in a tale of conspiracy and intrigue!
If you don't come see this movie, I'm going to wonder if any of you really DO want quality cinema!
Maybe I should just play Adam Sandler mall movies exclusively??
Sooooooo, here are your last chance showtimes...
I'll be taking names!!
THE GHOST WRITER (PG13) 
(Showtimes in brackets are $5.75 'Bargain Matinees")
FRI: (4:00) - 7:00
SAT: (1:00) - (4:00) - 7:00
SUN: (1:00) - (4:00)
MON, TUES & WED: 6:30 
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A NOTE FROM THE HEAD HONCHO...

Don't forget this huge show at 7:30 on Saturday, April 17th with the Millikin Symphony Orchestra accompanying an ultra-rare archival 35mm print of Charlie Chaplin's 1925 silent masterpiece THE GOLD RUSH is NOT an "AVON" presentation!
That means WE will, most likely, have NO tickets to sell!
You need to call the Millikin Kirkland Ticket Office ASAP!
The MDSO Season Pass holders will automatically take over 50% of our 700 seat capacity, so, you can see why you had better not procrastinate about tickets!!

Yes, folks, this is a guaranteed SELL-OUT!
And there is NO WAY we can add another show!
This is a one-time thing!!!

I hate to see any of you disappointed!
(Although, those of you who have not been to see THE GHOST WRITER, I will not feel sorry for! HINT HINT)

If you think I am just "marketing", stop and remember what happened when movie star GARY SINISE came in-person June of '08, and you'll realize I am trying to keep you from being on the outside looking in here! 
Call and see if any tickets are left!
Call the Millikin Kirkland Box-office!!
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I'll Be Looking for ALL of YOU this Weekend!
EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!
I got the popcorn popped and the REEEEEL buttah melted!

-Skip Huston
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